live updates from backstage. @catreadsalot
the thing to realize here is that conservatives find the idea of paying workers a livable wage so absurd that they make hyperbolic comparisons like this
because fifteen dollars and hour and a hundred thousand dollars an hour both mean the same thing to them; more than you deserve
^That commentary is very important.
but cocaine and unicorns? that’s fine.
(Source: -teesa-, via notastupidurl)
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like something really important just happened
this is the best thing I’ve ever read
My head hurts
(Source: agirlandhisplatypus, via notastupidurl)
trying to watch something online and it keeps buffering
now take a moment to remember that this is all stop-motion animation
now take another moment to remember this was a movie/animation for kids.
Based on a book written for kids.
Not sure what the big deal about that is? It’s only Americans who seem to think kids can’t handle anything slightly unpleasant, and must have everything sanitized for them. Neil Gaiman is British, he knows that kids are not only very capable of dealing with darkness, but live in a world much darker than adults seem to think or remember kids do.
Children’s stories from everywhere else around the world deal with death, and violence, and morbid, scary things, quite frankly.
(Source: corpsie, via notastupidurl)